Do you want your sex life to change?

To me, sexuality is a language, that can be used to convey feelings, and, just like art, making love is a way to elicit emotions and pleasant sensations to one's lover. To become a better lover, one must learn, listen and care. Ever since the age of 15. I have been studying sacred sexuality, relationships, orgasms, and intimacy, and I am a passionate student of tantra traditions.

One day, a lover of mine pleaded to me, after our first night together: "you HAVE to teach other men about what you know about sex". I realized that what I did, I had learned. Sex is a human activity, and as such, we can improve, and study, and share knowledge.

And men have so little opportunity to learn what women like and want; or even, to learn what is pleasurable!

All talk about sex in society is either shame and guilt, or fantasies and expectations - or, worse, competition and social clichés! And men have even much less in that matter than women, and almost no occasion to share experiences honestly, or learn anything! All they can access is either misogynistic clichés (porn) or feminist demands – none of which help. How can one learn and better oneself in the art of shared pleasure and loving communication? There is so much more pleasure possible than what we are told...

Since then, I studied the life of men, the way men are taught, and the messages they received from society, from women, from other men, from the media, and the way it influences relationships and sexuality. I compared that with the messages women receive, and what the hiatus means for our ability to communicate through sexuality. I also learned more theoretical knowledge, about sexuality and relationships.

I have a unique perspective. When writing this, I was theoretically a heterosexual male - actually, I am and always was a trans woman living in an environment where the notion was unheard of. I started transitioning in late 2023, two years after writing this. 

Anyway, I have been living since my childhood with a male body and hormonal balance, and a male desire for sexual pleasure, penetration, ejaculation, and orgasms... On the other hand, I have always had a very feminine perspective on gender roles and sexual intimacy, emotions and relationships. I have been immersed in female environments, often as a peer, receiving confidences that only other women can get, and feeling the same way as them about many things. So I know a lot about what women want, desire, and the way they communicate about it. And I have a "hands-on" experience of heterosexual interactions and how pleasure can arise from them.

My perspective is that sex is a form of communication, and a way to express one's feelings and give pleasure as a gift to someone we care about. Each lover is responsible for giving the most pleasure to their partner; and loving someone means learning to become a better lover for them. And learning each other's vocabulary - both physical and imaginary - can change the impact of one's actions. 

My goal is to share my knowledge and create bridges between those who were raised as ‘Martians’ and ‘Venusians’, and help you develop a sexual language that will give the most pleasant moments, and allow making love to be what the phrase means.

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